Lost

When you live with mental illnesses you get used to having some good days amongst many bad ones. The problem comes when the good days are too many and you forget how bad they can get.

Today was the worst day of 2017 so far. It was the first day that really made me remember the feeling of beingĀ stuck at the bottom, of having no purpose or utility, of not wanting to wake up. Today I felt like the loneliest girl in the world. I cried, I isolated myself, I refused to talk to anyone. I don’t want to eat, read, or watch any show. I can’t get up to go for a walk or just to get some fresh air. I lost the hability to enjoy everything that I loved. And I feel like it’s never gonna change.

I’m never gonna change.

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